Adopting Across Racial Lines

Race in America is forefront in the news. With Barack Obama, a man who is black and white and running for president, it is here with renewed vigor. His candidacy would be even more surprising if we weren’t a country so full of contradictions.

Interracial unions and the biracial offspring they produce have a long, tortured history, from master/slave “relationships” to laws banning miscegenation (the “mixing” of races.) Marriage between blacks and whites was once illegal and statutes remained on the books in some southern states until the very recent past, keeping the stigma alive and well.

It has never been easy or simple to be biracial or part of an interracial family. It complicates life. It raises the potential for emotional dissonance, stress and discomfort. As Obama said, he suffered from unintended racially insensitive remarks his own (white) grandmother who adores him made. But I am sure he’s also heard discriminatory remarks from blacks and people of every race and hue, as we all have.

No “group” is free from stereotypical thinking and prejudice. Not his. Not mine. Not yours. That is important to remember if you are considering transracial adoption.

The term ‘transracial adoption’ used to refer mostly to white parents adopting black children or biracial children, who are also considered black, but over time has become more inclusive.

Controversy arose in the 1970’s and 1980’s in the aftermath of the heady, liberated, ‘let’s love one another 60’s’, when it became apparent we are not all considered equal “under the skin” in cultural currency. Black children who had been adopted by progressive white parents and raised in race neutral environments felt alienated. Society was not race blind, and hearing their parents say it was didn’t make it so. Many of the children were growing up discontented, disconnected, and resentful.

The Association of Black Social Workers decided it was racial genocide to strip black children of their racial heritage—their birthright—by placing them with white families who were not equipped to raise them. They also felt not enough outreach was done to find black families for them. Their assessment and accusation of genocide may have been extreme and politically skewed, but their concerns were valid.

Over time, our ideas about adoption have changed and expanded.
We have come to recognize the needs and rights of birthmothers. We have come to recognize the needs and rights of children and the special needs of children of color. And we have come to recognize that an adult’s view and experience of family are not the same as those of the child’s.

Identity is tidier if you are in the majority within society and/or your own family, and when you can recognize yourself in those around you.
If you are the zygote of the same race egg and sperm you don’t have to choose what to call yourself. If you grew up in a same race household and weren’t adopted or “different” in any way, you don’t know what it’s like to be a minority in your own home.

You need to be aware that as a parent you will never fully understand your child’s experience.
Of course this race stuff is nonsensical because we are all ape descendants. But historical social structure and stricture forces identity based on observable physical characteristics and genealogical lineage. In other words, on how we look.

No one can deny we live in an appearance-oriented, race conscious, inconsistent, and incongruous world.
And here’s the perfect proof: despite this country’s record of slavery and segregation and an intact hierarchical social system that highly values and still favors whites, the son of an African father and white American mother has a chance to win the highest office in the land. What’s more, his good looks and tall stature and light skin are part of the picture.
When interracial families are formed not through intermarriage but via adoption, the dynamic is different. The choice is purely intentional. Transracial adoption has expanded to other countries and includes Asian, Hispanic, Latino, and indigenous children the world over.
Each adoption route carries a unique parental commitment and responsibility. All require effort and sensitivity and knowledge.

We in the adoption field have come to realize families need to consider carefully and prepare well when they adopt a child of a race not their own. They need to incorporate, honor, integrate, and accommodate their child’s racial heritage and birth culture. They need to understand their status will change forever once they become an interracial family. And they need to be willing to relinquish their sense of white middle class entitlement they take for granted.

The concept of race is emotionally laden; socially, psychologically and economically complex; and a great influence in the adoption process. For example, a family may want a child from China but not from Brazil. Another may favor a Guatemalan child over an Ethiopian one. Yet another may shy away from any but a Russian.

Adoption is not the time to be politically correct.
You are allowed to exercise your personal preferences. If you parent the child you desire things will be better for all involved. But you need to understand that adopting a Korean, Vietnamese, or any child who is not Caucasian also makes your family interracial.
And if you are willing and honest enough to admit how your choice is a reflection of broader social values, you will better understand the world that awaits your child.

Living in a diverse neighborhood, availability of resources, having neighbors, friends, and associates who share your child’s race and heritage, are some important factors to take into account.

Think long and hard and examine your feelings. Learn as much you can. And be aware that your child might not always appreciate the choice you made.
Transracial adoption is multifaceted and knotty but can also expand, fulfill, enrich, and bring pleasure to your life. Before you travel across racial lines, make sure it is what you want. Make sure you embrace it for sound reasons. Above all, make sure you feel good and comfortable and secure about your decision.

And then, enjoy the journey!

by Andrea Troy

Copyright 2008. Reprinted by permission.

Article Source: http://www.adoptiondoctors.com/articles

Andrea Troy is an adoption social worker affiliated with NYHomestudy.com and can be contacted at atroyny@aol.com.

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