Do Your Children Whine?

Do Your Children Whine?

Is your children's whining driving you crazy? Why do they do that?! Because they've learned that it gets them what they want. (You've inadvertently taught them that.) To get them to change their behavior, you will have to change yours: you will have to respond differently.

If you're like most parents, you've fallen into the trap of giving your children what they want when they whine, just to get them to quiet down. You are probably not even aware that you are doing it. Unfortunately, that is teaching them that whining is an effective way to get their way. There's a simple solution, but as in much of parenting, it's hard to carry out. It will take a conscious effort on your part, to get them to stop whining.

First, you have to start listening for the whining, instead of trying to tune it out. Then, when you catch your child whining, you will need to react differently. There are a couple of different methods that you can try.

You can teach your child in a straightforward manner, how he should be speaking, by modeling it for him. If your child comes to you, demanding, “I want a drink! I want a drink!” say to the child, “Do you mean, 'May I please have a drink, Mom?'” Wait until the child repeats that in a pleasant voice before you give in.

After you've used this method several times, start playing a new game. When your child demands or whines to go outside, for instance, tell him, “I can't understand you when you talk in that tone of voice. Would you please use your big boy voice? (or your nice voice?)” You can do this in a calm voice, yourself. Do it right away, before you get angry or frustrated. If the child will not repeat himself in a pleasant tone, walk away, saying, “I'm sorry, but I can't hear what you are saying.” If he follows you around the house, whining, tell him to go to his room until he is ready to come out and talk in his “big boy voice.” If he won't go, gently take him by the hand, and calmly lead him to the room. “I wish I could help you, but I just can't understand what you want when you use that tone of voice.” Preschoolers are much brighter than we sometimes give them credit for. They know what is going on! They just need to choose to cooperate.

The key is in catching it when they whine, and changing your reaction. Go for it! You can do it!

Article Source: http://www.adoptiondoctors.com/articles

Nathalie Kretzmann is a Parenting and Family Specialist. She has her Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Human Development, with a specialty in Child and Family, from Southern Illinois University. She has been working with parents and children in a myriad of ways for over 25 years: teaching parenting classes, making home visits, working with special needs children and their families, training child care center providers and Head Start staff. She currently teaches parenting classes over the Internet and in person via Kretzmann Family Consulting, www.ParentingOnline.org, and is employed by Camas Professional Counseling in Idaho.

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