Unique factors when considering adopting an orphanage child

Out of the Orphanage:

Unique factors when considering adopting an orphanage child

by Dr. Shannon Schaefer

In 2000 I traveled to Romania to visit several orphanages. The experience moved me, both emotionally and spiritually. The children there made me a different person. I have since received a doctorate in clinical psychology, my studies influenced by the trip to focus on the mental health issues of both adults and children. Both my experiences with the Romanian orphanages and my training since have led me to share important considerations for parents seeking to adopt children from orphanages.

My experiences in Romania taught me that orphanages are diverse: from well-managed, caring facilities, to little more than holding facilities for children to live until they are 15 years old. Consequently, every child’s personal experience as an orphan is entirely unique. Nonetheless, several factors of orphanage life often shape any child’s development, including time spent in an orphanage, a child’s personality (particularly resiliency), experiences within the orphanage (such as exposure to unsafe situations, diet, and so forth), and personal connections formed in the orphanage. Understanding a few key factors and investigating how a child has or hasn’t endured these factors can help potential adoptive parents prepare for the future with their adopted child.

The attachment factor

Attachment can be defined as the ability or capacity to bond emotionally with another person. If children are not exposed to caregivers that connect emotionally with them on a frequent and consistent basis, they begin to reject emotional connections—thus creating attachment difficulties or even an attachment disorder. Such unconnected children learn that it is not fruitful to bond with anyone, because others cannot be trusted to maintain their love and support. These difficulties with attachment can consistently undermine relationships and the general mental well-being of both the children and their caretakers.

Research suggests that infants become attached to adults who are sensitive, responsive to the infant, and who remain as consistent caregivers during the period from about six months to two years of age. Within the first few months of life, children typically do not have a preference for one individual over another, but after about six months of age, they begin to attach to a primary caretaker (if one is available). A healthy attachment begins to develop between a child and this person if the emotional connection continues to be reinforced. This suggests that adopting an individual prior to age six months of age may be the most optimal time to ensure healthy attachment in the adoptive family.

Generally, research has suggested that the older the infant at the time of placement, the greater the likelihood of unhealthy attachment (Tyrrell & Dozier, Stovall & Dozier, 1998). One study, however, found typical infant-mother attachment levels in international adoptions with children at up to 14 months of age (van Londen, Juffer & van IJzendoorn, 1997). Furthermore, one prominent researcher in the field of attachment suggested that experiences during the first three to five years of life weigh heavily on a child’s attachment development (Bowlby, 1969, 1982, 1973).

Since infants under age five have more contact with primary caregivers than their older counterparts, the opportunity for children to be influenced by their families and professionals is especially crucial at this stage.

If, however, a potential adoptive parent seeks to adopt a child older than a toddler, one should attempt to seek out a child who has had a consistent connection with some caregiver. If a child has been able to attach to someone, this ability can usually be transferred to another adult.

Sadly, high turnover rates in many orphanages (the pay for orphanage workers is usually very low) make it difficult for children in those settings to attach to adult caretakers. Those children who have never attached to an adult have more difficulty bonding when older. Potential adoptive parents should, if at all possible, ask orphanage or foster care staff how well a particular child has been able to attach to caretakers.

The quality of care factor

In Romania, I saw significant differences in the type of care the children received. At the St. Nicholas home (which was a privately run orphanage that housed 18 children), there were two, graduate-level, trained workers supervising the staff. Conversations with these supervisors led us to believe that they were highly trained in emotional development of children of all ages. They took great care to make sure that each child had his or her individual needs met. We watched the staff and children hug and laugh together.

We were appalled, however, to see the drastic difference between the St. Nicholas home and the state-run orphanage. The state-run orphanage did not even have a name. Thus, for the remainder of our trip, we termed this the “no-name” orphanage.

The “no-name” orphanage reeked of urine and the children were unkempt. There were over 60 children with two caretakers who appeared poorly trained in child development issues. More than just a rough background, however, it was apparent that these conditions directly affected the children’s development.

Most of the children (who ranged in age from 2 to 15) appeared to be deficient in most communication and social skills. Our interpreter confirmed this, as she described how the children could not verbalize many basic responses to our questions.

Research in child development informs us of the importance of early communication with children. We know that there is a critical period for language development. There is a specific time period in which children will grasp concepts of language structure and communication. If children are not spoken to or encouraged to communicate, they will lose the ability to develop fully in this area.

When considering adopting an international child, learn about the orphanage conditions. Try to investigate the attitudes the orphanage workers have toward the children. Inquire especially about one-on-one contact involving communication between a potential adoptee and orphanage staff. A child who has been neglected (like many of those in the “no-name” orphanage) may suffer lingering developmental effects. But even if a child has come from an extremely poor orphanage, the attention, attachment, and communication they receive from affirming caregivers may help the child overcome a difficult background. It’s not the poverty of amenities, but the poverty of affirming human interaction that is most detrimental to a child’s future.

The childhood lifestyle factor

Healthy childhood development obviously involves more than attachment and communication. Learning about other factors in a child’s background can provide clues to that child’s development.

For example, the “no-name” orphanage had a very small, rusty play area outside. We were told, however, that most children were not allowed to go outside. This was drastically different from the St. Nicholas home, in which the children played in a large courtyard area. It was my impression that the importance of play was not emphasized in Romanian culture as it is in American culture. We saw very few playgrounds during our entire trip in the country. The few playgrounds we did see had few children using them. And yet, much research to date suggests that play is crucial for emotional and social development. When considering a child to adopt, parents may want to investigate how play was viewed in the orphanage and what experience the child had with play.

Another factor to be conscious of is the social atmosphere. The St. Nicholas home was quieter. There was a religious sanctuary where children could go to pray. It was drastically different from the state run orphanage, which was characterized by commotion. The children had little privacy and almost no peace and quiet. I wonder how the inability to find a quiet place may lead to difficulty learning how to relax or cope with anxiety. I have often wondered if early experiences in which children have been exposed to a lot of commotion could be correlated with increased Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) symptoms.

When the factors indicate trouble

Of course, many adoptive parents seek to adopt children specifically out of homes like the “no-name” orphanage. Others adopt children whose backgrounds can’t be thoroughly researched. In those cases, the factors described above offer explanation and understanding for parents to help their adopted children grow healthily.

Many in the field of developmental psychology also believe that with adequate care and patience, children who have been neglected of consistent emotional connections can re-learn how to attach to others in a healthy way. Many have observed children whose difficult early childhoods have been redeemed in a loving adoptive family. For parents who are facing, or will shortly be facing such challenges, some resources to consider include:

* Fostering Changes: Myth, Meaning, and Magic Bullets in Attachment Theory by Richard Delaney (Wood N Barnes, 2006).
* Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children by Daniel A. Hughes (Jason Aronson, 2006).
* Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow by Gregory Keck and Regina M. Kupecky (Pinon, 2002).
* Facilitating Developmental Attachment: The Road to Emotional Recovery and Behavioral Change in Foster and Adopted Children by Daniel A. Hughes (Jason Aronson, 2000).
* When Love is Not Enough: A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD by Nancy Thomas (Families by Design, 2005).\
* Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love by Robert Karen (Oxford University Press, 1998).

Article Source: http://www.adoptiondoctors.com/articles

Other resources are available as well, and often adoptive families find themselves needing some experienced, trained advice. My experiences abroad and my passion for children’s mental health issues have led me to expand my practice to the area of adoption-related psychological consultation. I would be happy to review with potential adoptive parents how I might assist in psychological evaluation of adoptees via telephone, video, or travel abroad. Please contact my office at (715) 842-9500.

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